Who do you think you are?
I stared at the screen before me trying to gather my thoughts. I had been fighting the words on my computer screen for days now. For every sentence written, another two were deleted. Nothing flowed or fit together. Feeling defeated, I walked away to make another cup of tea. Maybe a break would unclog the blocked pathways to my brain.
But one day became two. And two days became three. Three days became three weeks.
Who do you think you are?
Each time I sat down to rework the article, I walked away frustrated. No amount of writing and editing could compensate for the fact that I desperately wished I had a doctoral degree in theology. My words could not, would not, adequately describe what my heart was aching to say. Maybe I really wasn’t cut out for this. Maybe I was biting off more than I could chew.
Who do you think you are?
Unqualified. That’s who I am, I thought. I am woefully unqualified.
One night I sat down to reread one of my favourite biographies by Corrie Ten Boom, Tramp for the Lord. Filled with stories of God’s deliverance and her travels around the world, it is a beautiful testimony of a woman who loved Jesus whole-heartedly and was willing to follow Him wherever He lead.
Within, she relates the story of meeting a group of intellectuals who refused to accept her as an equal due to her lack of theological training. For her last meeting with them, she brought a box of Belgian chocolates which they gratefully accepted and enjoyed. Later, when she spoke, she mentioned that no one had questioned her chocolates. No one had asked where they were manufactured, what vitamins they contained, or what quantities of cocoa were within. They had simply eaten and enjoyed the gift they were given.
She likened the chocolates to the Word of God. “If you try to analyze it as a book of science or even a book of theology, you cannot be nourished by it. Like chocolate, it is to be eaten and enjoyed, not picked apart bit by bit.” – Corrie Ten Boom
And therein lay my problem. In my earnest desire to correctly handle God’s Word, I was fearful of writing anything! I was terrified of making an error, and the fear was paralyzing me.
I had forgotten 2 Peter 1:3
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
I had forgotten that God doesn’t require brilliance to serve Him. He’s not looking for a masterful thesis. He’s looking for faithful servants who will testify to His greatness and goodness. Who will tell their stories of deliverance and redemption and share His love with a world that needs to know it.
There are those who are called to dive into the deep theological waters, and I am thankful for these brothers and sisters in Christ who share their knowledge. In doing so, they follow in the footsteps of the Apostle Paul. Their writings are a gift to us all.
But to be an academic scholar is not a requirement from the Lord. He has given us all we need for a life of godliness through the Holy Spirit, and we are called to live in obedience and share what He has done for us. That is all. It’s simple. Almost too simple to comprehend. Simple enough for a child. Simple enough for me.
Don’t make the same mistake in thinking that you aren’t enough to that for which God has called you. Don’t allow the shadows of theological giants keep you from sharing the Word. Don’t assume you have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
Your testimony is a weapon against the enemy. Not because it showcases you but because it reveals the glory and power of Christ in you. You are the light that points the way to Jesus, and your story needs to be told.
Who do you think you are?
A nobody, really. What a relief that I don’t have to pretend to be more than I am! I bring nothing but my heart and body, and He makes it enough. I can rest in the knowledge that He takes my small offering and transforms it to be used for His glory and honour, thereby granting me the privilege of “participating in the divine nature” as described in 2 Peter 1:4
I finished the article. It’s imperfect. An imperfect offering to a God who sees my heart and knows that I long, above all, to honour Him. And that is enough.
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift. 2 Corinthians 9:15 (NIV)