I never wanted to be a girl.
I thought girls were boring, silly, and giggled too much.
Boys, though, were fun, uncomplicated, and had better toys.
From playing with cars and trucks, G.I. Joe figurines, Legos, or scrapping it out on the soccer field, I found excitement in a blue world which didn’t question my awkwardness or require complex emotions. It didn’t help that I was tall for my age and not the least bit delicate. I was often scolded for breaking yet another pair of shoes from playing too roughly.
At one point, I even convinced my mom to give me a boy’s haircut – short around the neck and ears – a regrettable decision now immortalized on my 4th grade photo.
Obviously, at that time I was considered a tomboy. And in the mind of a 10 year old, the only thing better than being a tomboy would have been to be a real boy. A real boy with boy privileges. A real boy with the chance of having a real career. A life without all the limitations I encountered as a girl.
In my world, girls were expected to follow a different set of rules and expectations.
Be sweet. Be polite.
Smile sweetly. Be quiet.
Don’t take up space.
Above all…don’t be so stubborn!
My Mennonite culture tended to favor sons over daughters. A truth I still believe exists in many conservative Old Colony homes. Having spent time in and around an Old Colony settlement, I have observed the treatment of women and girls within this culture, and sadly, my conclusions as a 10 year old were closer to the truth than I knew at the time.
At worse, girls within these colonies are considered ‘property’ without a voice and frequently subjected to sexual abuse at the hands of their fathers or brothers. At best, they face a world where they are considered subordinate and inferior to men.
Who would want to be a girl in a world that abuses them?
Thankfully, as I grew in my understanding of God and His Word, I came to realize the ideas I grew up with were cultural rather than Scriptural. God loves women, delights in them, and created them to be a necessary and essential part of His creation. We are worthy of love and respect.
As I matured, I began to appreciate my strengths and characteristics as a woman. I will never be dainty, and I’m probably more salty than sweet, but I have learned to cultivate the gifts God has given me and embrace who He made me to be. While the journey was long and filled with mistakes, today I am grateful God made me to be a woman.
I was not created to be a doormat.
I was not created to be inferior.
I was created to be an Ezer Kenegdo.
And you, my friend, are too.
Helping women understand what a privilege and honour it is to be a woman is the reason I wrote my book, Ezer Kenegdo. God created you and I with a specific identity to fulfill a specific calling. Knowing this frees us to live in a way that honours Him.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:13&14
Praying this encourages you today!
Maria
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